Aug 20 2008

Desert Rose


A friend shared a story…

“Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn’t hear the band - he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.”

Me: that. made. me. cry.

“People start their lives at last when they are able to live for something other than themselves.”–Albert Einstein.

Jazakullahkhair.

Painter: Oh come on Ilana, isn’t that a bit melodramatic? Do you also start weeping at witnessing the humanitarian edge of capitalism when they bring down the prices of flower pots to 50%?

Me: Haha, oh come on Painter, isn’t that a bit of an over simplification and lack of appreciation of the human spirit and it’s capacity for self sacrifice and good? Or are you too pessimistic and self-absorbed?

Painter: It is the nature of things that those at one extreme become that which is at the other extreme…but yeah, you do cry at flower shops don’t you :)

Me: Realization of the above mentioned fact is what should motivate us to be humble and help grasp the significance and true depth of the beauty of good. It is the freedom of will that makes morality and virtue possible.

Painter:
Indeed. Very well said.

Me: And I cry for flowers not pots. ;)

One response so far

Aug 14 2008

Breathing Mask

Published by ilana under wood (peotry)

A mask, a sign of morality–trying to keep numb when I know the time will come when all is said and done and no turning back, a lump in my throat trying to relax but we all know there’s a subtle unrest as I blink back tears realization dawns; numb is not acceptable, tears irrefutable– not expressing inexcusable. Painful to show the love when loving hurts; selfless perhaps–ego destroyed, sweetness of iman trying to sustain because without the True Reality ever present I am in pain.

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Aug 14 2008

ARTiculate

Published by ilana under wood (peotry)


Random thoughts, random words, inspiration hits–widens and challenges the wit… unable to articulate in such confines, so simply art, music, dance are there to express the love of the divine.

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Aug 11 2008

Change


Eh: so why do you think the Muslim Ummah declined?
Me: many reasons… one of is the Muslim Ummah having this dual identity crisis that persists in the middle east resulting from colonialism. They want to be “Modern” (the western way) but that has some serious growing pains… islamic growing pains–and I feel that inshAllah they might be moved to find a better way to modernize
inshAllah inshAllah
it’s like when I go downtown DC
and I see this concrete jungle, this separation between nature and human
Eh: right, about it?
Me: why can’t these buildings be a part of the nature and their natural surroundings?
why must the roots be buried under something lifeless–trying to separate us from the true reality–Allah?
Sometimes I image the soil underneath it all teeming with life
there has to be a better way
why can’t our masjids be apart of the outside and the gardens like in Andalusia?
Eh: they can be, its still not too late
Me: I believe in that but HOW?

null

One response so far

Aug 06 2008

I’ll miss…

Published by ilana under SF, missing family, sisterwood

sister
I will miss my youngest sisters attempt to copy me and make wudu.
I’ll miss how they stood next to me in prayer—head on my elbow.
I’ll miss holding my small sisters when they cry and seeing them laugh and squeal as I roar and chase them in the backyard.
I’ll miss listening to my brother’s confessions—just trying to get certain things he was ashamed of off his chest and feeling so honored he choose to tell me.
I’ll miss talking about hope, future and boys in a closet with my sister until the wee hours of the morning and perhaps will miss even the time where she tried to coach me in how to make sexy faces in a mirror—it took 10 minutes of trying not to laugh.
I’ll miss singing and holding my sisters; stroking them and holding them close and once in the dark I can feel one’s eyes widen and her voice full with awe; “Your amazing”.
I’ll miss playfully fighting with brothers, laughing, challenges, boasting and putting them in their place—for the meanwhile.
I’ll miss running in the grass; barefoot, without a hijab—totally wild and free in the dark—as I and the kids made faces at our uncles in the dining room as they sipped chai with Baba.
I’ll miss hugging my biggest brother and then conspiring with the kids to attack and tackle him: yes, we went through with it but we were unsuccessful.
I’ll miss a brother’s sweetness—I’ll miss tickling another until he laughed like a maniac and sitting on him—oh yes, and I’ll miss throwing pillows at all of them.
I’ll miss the wind, I’ll miss the blue sky which was so vivid in contrast to the tall trees.
I’ll miss a sister’s quiet strength; another, her smile; another her recklessness—putting Indiana Jones to shame.
I’ll miss one of the tiniest sisters asking me to put on the hijab.
I’ll miss hearing “I love you” and even “I aann a princess! You ugly” hahaha.
I’ll miss how all my brothers and sisters gathered; asking about deen, fiqh, tasweer—questioning, questioning, questioning…

And yes, I’ll even miss pinching my father’s cheeks, and when I am delighted or I kiss him—seeing his whole face brighten up. Yeah, it’s a sight to behold.

Jazakullahkhair Oh Allah for letting me miss.

4 responses so far

Aug 01 2008

A Quote I had to share

MYNA's future past present

When a certain emperor commented that he would not act in a certain way because it was against his interest Confucius replied ‘It is well your majesty thinks of his self interest. Soon the ministers will think of their interests and following their own interests none shall think of the interest of the nation’.

A political system based upon the tyranny of a patriarchal father figure cannot help but produce a system where force becomes the only virtue. In such an atmosphere where men have epicene characteristics there is no sense of personal morality.

To quote Ibn Khaldun

“Severe punishment does harm to the student, especially little children, because it belongs among those matters that engender bad habit. Students, slaves, and servants who are brought up with injustice and tyrannical force are overwhelmed by it.

It enervates them and causes them to feel oppressed. It makes them lazy and induces them to lie and be insincere. That is, their outward behavior differs from what they are thinking because they are afraid that they will have to suffer tyrannical treatment if they are honest. Thus, they are taught trickery and fraud. This becomes their custom and character. They lose the quality that accompanies social and political structures and engenders humaneness in people – in other words, the urge to protect and defend themselves and their homes – and they become passively dependent upon others.

They succumb to indolence and fail to acquire the virtues and qualities of good character. Thus, they fail to achieve their potential and never reach the birthright of their humanity. This results in their reversion to the “lowest of the low.”

This is the fate of every nation that fell under the yoke of tyranny and from it learned the meaning of injustice. This can be affirmed by merely examining any person who is not in control of his own affairs and has no power to assure his own safety. “

Prolegomena - Ibn Khaldun

All of society becomes BEGHAYRAT.

One response so far

Jul 31 2008

Cable Cars, the Bay Bridge and my hatred for TV

Published by ilana under Hatred for TV, SF

I am reminded day after day why I hate TV so much.

I am at the place of my childhood, of my birth… and yet I feel so uneasy. Towns are wide spread… and I guess I would find it relaxing but let me tell you this.

At least now I know positively my priority isn’t money in life. I am so extremely unhappy with not being free… and when I am unhappy I close up and I stay very quiet.

I also have found out I will never be the proper Arab (or desi for that matter) lady - like woman. I can fake it for a couple of hours and then freak with energy; jumping up and down screaming “sugar!” and dancing on the roof [until I realized there was a family on the neighboring roof].

I have also realized the rich [money-wise] people are not necessarily interesting or smart.

I hate TV.

Been busy with Unity Productions Foundation, MYNA at ISNA and salvaging what left of my pride.

If only siblings watched something interesting like LinkTV, FreeSpeech TV or even UCTV. I feel my IQ has been fried. It’s always on, behind me as I work on the computer–Bismillah.

Something I wanted to share from Sheikh Wikipedia : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_and_children

There’s something about San Francisco… a certain sadness in the area. Of love lost and angst, betrayal and a beautiful pain unspoken in the breathy cool wind. Sometimes you don’t notice it right away. It’s only afterward, when you reflect, you realize that aura was there… so subtle you realize how deep it is and it makes you blink at the ceiling as your chest swells beats to the slight flaring of nostrils.


When the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) saw something good and pleasing, he would say: “Praise be to God with whose blessings all good deeds are perfected.” And when he saw something displeasing, he would say: “Praise and thanks be to God in all circumstances.”

Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 4, Number 125A

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Jul 15 2008

The Identity crisis and/within Islamic institutions

Published by ilana under MYNA, NOOOOOORRRR!!!!, beace, tree

A speech I did at the Education Forum Chicago Alhumdullah

We see over and over again, Conferences, gets together, camps, organizations, Islamic schools trying to address the dilemma of the youth: Identity. This theme—this problem, is huge, expansive, the seed—that gives birth to unity and inshAllah countless good deeds and endeavors.

Identity is in itself means a coming across a sameness, a likeness even amongst varying conditions—a constant state. Therefore we can say the antithesis—the sickness of identity is not being constant, not having a constant state and therefore we must ask ourselves what is this desired state we should strive for?

The desired state is the Muslim state—the Muslim identity that permeates through out a persons character, interactions and varying conditions whilst in the west, an environment of constant upheavals. Being in a state of peace does not mean being in a peaceful state without turmoil. Peace means being in this state inspite of upheavals.

Ironically this peaceful state, this Muslim identity isn’t simply born out of peace but rather from hardship. Peace in itself is a strong trait, a strong characteristic and as Napoleon Hill, a famous American author said, “The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.”

In order to build this strong tree, the seed needs to be cultivated, nurtured and protected from the harsh weather in the darkness and over the protection of the soil. This seed is the Muslim youth in the west. And the soil, covering and protecting this seedling and readying it to become big and strong—giving the foundations and room to take root to steadfastness is the Islamic upbringing—the purpose of Islamic schools. These Islamic institutions give room for children to spread their roots in a comfortable way—showing them that they, yes, indeed can still be mainstream in a western society, comfortable, strong, and secure with the knowledge such intuitions instill in them.

Islamic schools build a Muslim identity. In a Islamic school, you, the teachers and administration are building the foundation of future Muslims, future families, future communities, future masjids, future of the faith and leaders inshAllah for the sake of Allah.

However, Islamic schools under go their own identity crisis as well. Most teachers come to Islamic schools under two different circumstances. One is the type of teacher is the career-driven teacher that often comes to the Islamic school seeking the initial experience that will allow them to get the better paying jobs in schools with good resources. Often times Islamic schools cannot compete with the facilities and resources over even public school systems and generally offer non-competitive salaries with no benefits. The other type of teacher is the one highly motivated teacher but who may lack certification and the proper background in education.

In addition to these differences, Islamic school teachers come in the enormous variations in their cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds.

As a result one may find very different standards from one Islamic school to other and even from classroom to classroom in one school. For example, the way the teacher carries themselves in the classroom, tone of voice they use the disciplinarian techniques is, at least, in part by the diverse backgrounds of the teachers. I suggest that Islamic schools develop uniform expectations, procedures and implementation plans so that students within each school will have a unified identity, and a cohesive and clear understanding of who and what they are and the ability to be Muslim to maintain a Muslim home and family and yet productive members of the greater community. Once our identity is settled in it takes root faster if our actions and intentions reaffirm. This is why extra curricular activities like MYNA are so important. Our identities expand outside the masjid and extended family and weave together with the fiber of the greater society we live in.

2 responses so far

Jul 14 2008

Thoughts on the MYNA Leadership camp…

Published by ilana under MYNA, sisterwood, thoughts, truth

My heart is so small, it’s almost invisible. How can You place such big sorrows in it? “Look,” He answered, “your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world.”
the Dawn

“‘In the woods, we return to reason and faith,’ and become ‘part and parcel of God’”. –Emerson. Before MYNA camp I looked at this quote and knew it was the truth, theoretically. However; it was only after MYNA camp that the depth of this truth fully resounded through every bone in my body. After all, truth is realized not told.

The first Leadership Retreat hosted by MYNA National was teeming with a buzz of excitement and possibilities. And somehow, through the grace of the Almighty, this MYNA retreat was even better than the first.

This is coming from a person who before going to her first MYNA National Leadership Retreat thought MYNA was the younger wannabe MSA child. This is coming from an EC member who, despite loving the first retreat, forced herself to get on that plane going to the second retreat with a “bismillah” walking into camp arrogantly thinking ‘been there, done that; I just need to do my job’ and was, at first glance, disappointed by the facilities that seemed inferior to those of the first retreat’s campground and bracing herself for a week of no privacy and discomfort. Basically, I was being a spoiled, shallow and judgmental creature.

Then, slowly, the beauty of the Lake Huron crept into my heart. The sound of Huron, inhaling and exhaling on the sandy skin of the beach echoed and became distinct and alive. It was there, as we prayed in the grass, breathing in the odor of where we were from and soon go back to; it was there as we put out our fire on the beach and turned our heads upward to the sky breathless - almost expecting to fall into it–as a voice sang Surat Al Najam – it was there as the sun rose with petals of color and the heart had to grow expansive to contain the nooriful scene, it was there I saw Allah’s signs and became overwhelmed with them.

And with this as our backdrop the lightest feather-breath of a rain touched our faces as we whispered dthikr together and a rainbow appeared rewarding our hearts with a wondrous sight. Throughout the week I participated in workshops that made me laugh, then cry, I stayed awake all night with a friend and prayed tahajud while a rain storm wailed outside. I gained an appreciation and respect for nature and learned to live with the spider that lived above my bunk. It was there first. I pray the lessons I learned and helped to teach others through my participation will never leave me. The activist, humanitarian and Muslim in my heart grew that week. And, most importantly, I was able to share it with others.
And I want it for you dear reader. I want your Iman to soar, your mind to leap forward and be empowered with the knowledge that people may call us the leaders of tomorrow but I say NO–You are the leaders of today. Shake off that doubt, sense of unworthiness, timidity and fear. Step forward. Your the best we have and it’s upon you the opportunities you wasted or the vast and great potential you fulfilled– certainly a beauty to behold.

Sincerely,
a deeply honored Executive Committee Member
PR
MYNA National
Ilana Alazzeh

6 responses so far

Jul 14 2008

Climax

(inspired by this picture–which wasn’t taken by me)

There’s something within me,
a climax–a moment to lose then share–
heart wants to be exposed laid bare…
but keeping in mind time maxes
curious how you feel the pain in your chest it pulls, turns and twists
and for what? Not even a risk–
for that involves chance—
yet, all we know of the heart is that it is a pump
and yet it is felt a lance
of romance, piercing pain;
back and forth oh heart– what stance?

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