Jan 17 2008
melancholy
i feel this pain on my back I want to speak to you but i can’t, the words that mean, i can’t say, for they are the thoughts of my life the play, i want to trust you but i can’t because you don’t trust me and that I can’t stand to think I rant, that i am a charity, a weak work case, exposing my weakness, it is when i insist, but you don’t yield… you hide more and more–subhanAllah i can tell, so why does it bother me like hell? so perhaps I will stop and close my shell when all I want to do is yell… so let me make dua to You The Only, The One–only One I should want, not you oh Adam’s son.
But why does desire rule and pull
me like a ton–why does it blur and blunder my intentions–a little bit more then a simple al-nafs mention! I think of it and i feel so dirty..so unworthy of how imperfect my intentions are! And now I cry, how hopeless i am, how hopeless i seem, what kind of human have i turned out to be?
But why does desire rule and pull me? yes the constant ever changing shape of desire,just when Ive got the measure of a desire another comes along and manifests itself Desire is at the root of all Our suffering, Wot kind of humans have we all turned out to be? we shall know soon enough.I like your words I like your style :-)