These are interesting ideas that I would like to touch on.

I am a Muslimah who was born and raised in the West. My parents are non-Muslims, as are the vast majority of my neighbors and co-workers. My issue has neer been how to live in a “Muslim” society that has been affected by past colonialism. My experience has been how to live in a society that until 9-11 virutally had no idea who we were. Before 9-11, I was that woman in the scarf about whom people speculated if I had hair under my hijab. Now, I am one of “those people”. I am questioned on a nearly weekly basis by at least one person who would like to know, where I come from, or who comments about how good my English is. A little infuriating to say the least.

Then there is this: While at work (I am an oncology nurse), how do I slip away to make salat? (I keep my prayer rug on the shelf in my office and escape to the conference room for five minutes to make salat. I am always on guard because though I lock the door, someone invariable walks by and tries to enter.) How do I look like everyone else while still being modest? (I make my own scrubs) How do I attend the free luncheons offered by my department at least twice weekly? I mean, I usually can’t eat the food as it isn’t halal. So when I don’t show, I fear I give the appearance of being aloof and antisocial.

But it is a struggle. I suppose this is what I am trying to say here. Because, the rebel that I am, will not allow me to complacently accept the dual identity role. I don’t want to live with one foot in and one foot out. I want to live solely as a Muslim, unconfused and unapologetic. But the question is, how can this be done in a society that still views me as the odd one out?