Born Confused

me: (12:05:57 AM):sometimes when I am in pain I go into the rain and I make sure no one is looking and I just stand and let it wash over me and pray
someone: (12:06:40 AM):Ilana. when I’m in pain I just remember that God said He’ll never burden any soul with something it doesnt have the strength to bear and then the pain kinda loses its edge
me: (12:08:28 AM):mashAllah
someone: (12:09:07 AM):its possible that its different for me b/c I’m a guy
me: (12:09:46 AM):you are such a sexist–it’s the same
someone: (12:12:12 AM):lol i eas referring to the differences in thought processes in women and men and there are very clear differences
me: (12:13:06 AM):it’s cynical vs optimism it’s faith vs no faith it’s character and perception and the chemical of a males vs female I think have littel to do with it
someone: (12:14:05 AM):i was referring to emotions-driven female thought processes vs. logic-driven male thought processes
me: (12:14:45 AM):the difference is that you don’t trust your emotions
someone: (12:14:48 AM):for a woman in emotional pain, its harder for her to forget about it or overlook it than it is for a man [on average]
me: (12:14:52 AM):it’s all logic with you
someone: (12:15:03 AM):i’d rather trust logic than emotion
me: (12:15:29 AM):I’d trust balance dear
someone: (12:18:01 AM):logic is balance its not like logic and emotion are the equal and opposite ends of a scale, and you’re trying to stay in the middle
me: (12:20:53 AM):yes, in the nature world they would have some elements occurring of the opposite therein but would you not agree logic in it’s purest form is devoid of emotion meaning if justice is emotionless then there would be no retribution
someone: (12:21:47 AM):emotion, if not held in check by logic, misleads people
retribution?
me: (12:22:20 AM):and logic if not held in check by emotion misleds people
someone: (12:22:20 AM):how do you figure that? how does logic mislead people? me an example
me: (12:23:19 AM):okay, let’s kill all the people with genetic diseases so they don’t pass it on to the next generation or dispositism
someone: (12:23:44 AM):that has nothing to do with logic lol
me: (12:24:04 AM):oh? self-preservation of the human race isnt’ logic? of the future? wanting the best off-spring isn’t logic?
someone: (12:24:49 AM):in the context of human life, you have two logical choices in that scenario, and its far more logical to let someone with a genetic disease live in order to try and find a cure yeah but people with genetic diseases do not pose a mortal threat to the human race so you can’t argue the grounds of self-preservation
me: (12:25:31 AM):they might to you or your future off-spring so why not do away with them
someone: (12:25:49 AM):-yes that’s a faint possibility
me: (12:25:52 AM):wasting food and energy anyways
someone: (12:26:03 AM):and that possibility does not justify eliminating such people energy is constant food is replenishable if on the other hand it was some rapidly spreading contagious disease then logically, that justifies quarantine
me: (12:27:13 AM):or killing
someone: (12:27:17 AM):and even in such a dire scenario, killing them wouldn’t be justified
me: (12:27:35 AM):justifed?
someone: (12:27:38 AM):unless they pose a mortal threat, a clear and present danger to the majority
me: (12:27:41 AM):interesting word wrapped in emotion
someone: (12:27:53 AM):no
me: (12:27:58 AM):oh yes
someone: (12:28:01 AM):i meant logical, rational justification
me: (12:28:26 AM):and you sound like disopition right now
someone: (12:28:39 AM):lol
me: (12:30:22 AM):I am serious why are you laughing?
someone: (12:30:57 AM):because I don’t know what “disopition” means.
me: (12:32:06 AM):I meant Despocrary
someone: (12:32:24 AM):i don’t know what that means either
me: (12:32:51 AM):despotism
someone: (12:33:05 AM):oh, I see.
me: (12:33:16 AM):from democracy to despotism your dealing with grey not black or white in which I was dealing with. Your dealing with emotion ridden words like justice which is fueled buy a desire sometimes vengeance–revenge is apart of it but nature cutting another’s hand when they have cut off your own how does that initially serve? now if we were purely logical and could see the future we would choose a mode of action or judgment
someone: (12:37:15 AM):but we cant see the future
me: (12:37:22 AM):that would do the least harm I am talking about pure logic don’t loose the point.

Tis halal, excessive nutella gives me a stomachache but loving the sweet through the love of Allah leaves me wanting more. As I convert primal and instinctual urges into something more to oppress the forbidden inside. A flame dies down as smooth chocolate moves in the cheeks, swirling in a swollen mouth of happiness, ready to burst with a blessed curse.
chocolatebeliever.blogspot.com/

I feel the hurt you feel, I see the beatenings you steal–my heart aches for you–it does and i sympathize fully for you remind me of what was. hold your heart steady and still place your foreward in sajood’s embrace and feel the soft bittersweat case; of putting all your trust in the One wholly based on overwhelming faith–while asking refugee from angers and hurts bait. All I can do is remind, but if I can by the will of Allah (swt), ease your mind and heart–there’s a sad joy within being honored to play this part.

Trying to get someont to post here

ballinb:lol .. thanks for the link . i hardly get a chance to post on Islamica generally so i dont know if i should post randomness
kind of randomness do u mean?
lol
me:ANYTHING and EVERYTHING
ballinb:but i wouldnt want the world to be able to read anything and everything
i mean anything and everything that comes to my head
me:whatever you feel comfortable yaar
ballinb:hmm anyway have to go take care
me:did you post? :(
ballinb:well .. . i dont feel comfortable posting randomness ..sorry : )
me:not even Qur’an haramoobobi
ballinb:well there is a Quranic Verse thread
me:you can post ANYTHING to your heart’s content mr. uptight one. BE FREEEEEEEEEEEE
ballinb:but then the Verse might get lost in the randomness
me:(and halal)
ballinb:hmm….
me:ok your achward
ballinb:lol ok.. sorry but im not used to posting freely
me:are you use to living freely? thinking freely? feeling freely? expressing yourself freely? (and whilst in a halal manner)
ballinb:oh of course. we have to think freely as muslims but posting randomness, sometimes perhaps ‘nonsense’ in a thread is not necessarily representative of ‘free thought’. im sorry if I sound too uptight or ’strict’ .. but thats just how i feel .. I think there should be a point to everthing.. well atleast not ‘pointless’sorry ..anyway gota go
me:He who does not look upon things with the eye of insight is lost and to be blamed. it’s not nonsense. it seems so to the viewer who does not know the mind of the artist…don’t be so quick to judge
ballinb:well i wasnt referring to particular posts
i mean the thread as a whole..might end up with people posting ‘anything’ like u say, and ‘anything’ might include nonsense although it’s your thread u might not be able to control some of the nonsense others post in it
me:control?
ballinb:lol not control but ppl might post nonsense and u dont want that do u :S
me:“To deny the freedom of the will is to make morality impossible.”–James A. Froude.
ballinb:whatt if ppl r posting good things then that’s great
me:think upon it deeply what is good for you might not be good for others nor will anyone really be on your level of eman
ballinb:hmm…
me:it might be above or below but do not expect the same everyone has thier journey “We believe nothing so frimly as what we least know.”–Michel de Montaigne.
ballinb:that’s true.. but the point is that there is a fine line between ‘just a random post’ and a post which makes no sense in any way and is just wasting forum bandwidth and letting ppl post just ‘random’ stuff about anything just makes it easier to cross that fine line
me:maybe it’s sharing love/happiness who are we to judge?
ballinb:eg. posting random underpants is sharing peace love? Lol i mean there should be a point to something..
me:it’s sharing happiness. I was looking for power rangers that reminder me of defenders remember a smile is charity maybe I made someone smile? Laugh? giggle? inshAllah fillsabillullah maybe they had a hard day
ballinb:ok if that is your intention..
me:Emily Dickinson: If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
ballinb:in that case it would have a point.
me:yaar, all madness has a point
ballinb:but it wasnt made clear that way.
me:all pain has a point. everything has a point
ballinb:not necessarily
me:just becuase we don’t see it at first sight doesn’t mean it isn’t there. don’t be so secure in your preceptions of the world and your judgements of purposeful and pragmanic things. there is a virtue to art. to beauty. to humor
ballinb:so the point of the thread is to post random things which have a point, is that right?
me:everyone has a point …randomness is when the outside world doesn’t really understand the point
ballinb:ok…
me:the point you have in your mind and heart. everything is related to us, and basically our expierences, even our thoguht processes do you not agree?
ballinb:well maybe u should make your intentions clear in the opening post of the thread
me:that would be defeating the purpose of undiscovered beauty. of beauty not understood and there is beauty in lets beauty be not distilling it like a an eye or frog seeing out functions and what not
ballinb:ok…well i dont disagree with that, but i dont think everyone has the same approach to ‘randomness’ .. some ppl might have a distasteful intent and post something inappropriate, for example.
me:since you took it from such a serious and pragmatic stand point. i thought to explain it in a more metaphicsal sense…that is their choice and taste…remember: “To deny the freedom of the will is to make morality impossible.”–James A. Froude
ballinb:but what happens if taste goes against ethical / moral / Qur’anic values?
me:and there will always be darkness “There is no light for those who do not know darkness.” - Takuan Souhou. Evil makes good so much more valuable, that’s why we make mistakes and repent2/14/200810:55:01
ballinb:not willingly though2/14/200810:55:01
me:and Allah SWT loves us so for it…and if we didn’t sin Allah SWT would replace us
ballinb:we have to not be passive with such an attitude. i mean towards evil ..
me:In an Islamic governement things are evil
ballinb:yes evil will exist, but we pray that our committing / exposure to evil is minimized
me:and the world is full of self-rightiousness
ballinb:true. ..
me:probably one of the hugest evils out there
ballinb:but. ..evil remains just that, evil. erm..
me:that’s the purpose of this world. it’s a test. it’s not going to be easy. sabr is one of the greatest goods
ballinb:but we can’t give in and say we’re human so we’re going to sin.. lets do it anyway
me:and Allah knows best how much we can take
of course not we try but in the end we will enter heaven only with His mercy. be hard on yourself. not others
ballinb:a sin if repented for must be avoided after repentence. now ur confussing me
me:why?
ballinb:oh nothing. i get it.
me:oh Alhumdullah. look we constantly fall into sin the difference is whether we’ll repent. there’s a story. that there was a boy or man who partied and was free with women more or less. they went to the Prophet (s) and the Prophet asked “does he pray?” they reponded “yes” and the Porphet (s) (parphased–all of this in fact) “then leave him be, his prayer will make his bad deens undiseirable” and inshAllah he’ll drop them becuase of his connection with Allah (swt)
ballinb:we could still advise such a person that what they are doing is not right
me:of course
i agree but we do it in kindness. I feel it is better to befriend a friend for 7 years so that they know you love and care for them and then tell them to pray then to befriend them for 7 secs just meet them and asked them to pray the latter makes them defensful and does more damamge. thus we need sabr and love
ballinb:also they shouldnt be hypocritical, ie. they should be praying themselves before telling others. ur right. we have to advise with wisdom and kindness.. .there is a Verse in the Qur’an which says that too
me:yes inshAllah
may Allah give us the strenght to do so
ballinb:amen : ) ok should go now.. t/care. thanks for ur time
me:sorry I know I rant. wallah you too. Jazakullahkhair for listening and the consideration.

Talking about an intention speech… 

 

me (4:09:24 AM): nay, yaar like i weep after i heard that speech

me (4:09:33 AM): it hit me in teh gut so bad

peep (4:09:39 AM): yeah me too

me (4:09:45 AM): thank Allah it was dark

me (4:09:49 AM): wallah?

me (4:10:03 AM): my eyes were soooo swallon

me (4:10:08 AM): swollen*

peep (4:10:38 AM): yeah

peep (4:10:42 AM): I tear fairly easy

me (4:11:16 AM): teary happens to me easily

me (4:11:22 AM): weeping like that does not

me (4:11:38 AM): like perhaps once a year

peep (4:11:55 AM): ah mashaAllah

peep (4:12:03 AM): what was it in particular that got to you?

me (4:13:57 AM): umm… perhaps the honesty in which he viewed himself like when he said he doubted himself when he went on stage and gave speeches when he was younger

me (4:14:21 AM): it hit a really insecure spot within me

peep (4:14:32 AM): yeah that’s the thing; he has a very humanistic approach

peep (4:14:44 AM): doesn’t deny the harsh realities and shortcomings that we all have

peep (4:14:51 AM): that’s what makes his words so accessible for us

peep (4:14:54 AM): he’s doesn’t talk down to us

peep (4:15:04 AM): he speaks to the insecurities and very real challenges we all face

me (4:15:16 AM): yes.

me (4:15:29 AM): perhaps knowing i wasn’t teh only one

me (4:15:39 AM): released a lot of tention

peep (4:15:44 AM): yess definitely

me (4:15:47 AM): tension*

peep (4:15:50 AM): honestly

peep (4:15:59 AM): this is the message and mission I’m longing to spread

peep (4:16:03 AM): in general

peep (4:16:26 AM): that we’re all humans, we’re all sinners

peep (4:16:39 AM): but that we should never be scared or afraid to be ourselves

peep (4:16:41 AM): yeah

me (4:16:47 AM): no no go on

peep (4:17:08 AM): I think, despite how obvious this sounds

peep (4:17:23 AM): it’s a philosophy that runs in stark contrast to most “islamic” organizations and institutions

peep (4:17:25 AM): in modern times

peep (4:17:51 AM): that’s why we see more and more teenagers by the truckload become disillusioned and dissatisfied with their muslim communities

peep (4:18:04 AM): they are repelled because of who they are

me (4:18:16 AM): stark in most “islamic” theology and attitude in modern times as well

me (4:18:18 AM): yes

me (4:18:21 AM): i concur

me (4:18:29 AM): go on

peep (4:18:43 AM): wallah that’s it

peep (4:18:45 AM): but basically

peep (4:18:59 AM): that is the mentality I’m setting out to challenge

peep (4:19:12 AM): even if it becomes my life’s work

me (4:19:33 AM): it’s a mentality I have had to fight so hard against

peep (4:19:49 AM): yes

peep (4:19:55 AM): and you are by far not the only one

peep (4:19:59 AM): and you know

peep (4:20:06 AM): this isn’t something necessarily confined to Islam

peep (4:20:18 AM): but a universal mentality that has become so prevalent

peep (4:20:25 AM): the world ove

peep (4:20:25 AM): r

peep (4:20:36 AM): it’s what’s decaying the world

me (4:21:13 AM): ah yes, self-righteousness revolts me— and in fighting sometimes we’re not too sure of ourselves esp when we see we’re the only one

me (4:21:28 AM): so he saying “it’s ok”

me (4:21:46 AM): released …

me (4:22:16 AM): i don’t know, but it’s good to release but it’s not a permanent fix

peep (4:23:06 AM): yes

peep (4:23:16 AM): releasing is just a means of coping

me (4:23:29 AM): I seem to do a lot of that

me (4:23:36 AM): in general

peep (4:23:38 AM): the chemotherapy of the soul

me (4:24:00 AM): does it kill off a part of it too?

peep (4:24:08 AM): perhaps

me (4:24:11 AM): perhaps the weak part?

peep (4:24:17 AM): but it is a temporary solution

me (4:24:21 AM): but a little good too

peep (4:24:22 AM): that does not cure

me (4:24:32 AM): yeah, it’s not a cure at all

me (4:24:45 AM): and i wonder if in resides inside of me

me (4:25:02 AM): or is that resignation in it self?

peep (4:25:56 AM): no

peep (4:26:00 AM): I think it lies in everyone

peep (4:26:20 AM): I mean

peep (4:26:27 AM): the world has not always been this way

peep (4:26:37 AM): jerks haven’t always been running the world

 

peep (4:29:28 AM): do you think it’s bad

peep (4:29:42 AM): that I’m uncomfortable with people that quote the Prophet more than they use their own words?

me (4:30:00 AM): nope

peep (4:30:09 AM): it just unsettles me

peep (4:30:14 AM): and it unsettles me that it unsettles me

peep (4:30:33 AM): but it’s as though they do not disseminate the information for themselves

peep (4:30:46 AM): but who am I to judge

me (4:30:56 AM): but simply spew it

me (4:31:12 AM): like self-righteousness

me (4:31:17 AM): i understand

peep (4:31:19 AM): no

peep (4:31:24 AM): I wouldn’t say self righteousness

peep (4:31:27 AM): just a laziness

peep (4:31:35 AM): unwilling to form their own opinions and insights

me (4:31:45 AM): but self-righteousness is born from laziness

peep (4:31:47 AM): instead of building off the beauty of the messenger

peep (4:31:59 AM): using his light to ignite their own flame

peep (4:32:07 AM): they simply become parasites

me (4:32:57 AM): indeed, what i meant is that such laziness is what’s given birth to self-righteousness

peep (4:33:04 AM): sure

peep (4:33:06 AM): yes

peep (4:33:13 AM): I think that’s one of the roots of self righteousness

peep (4:33:22 AM): but not all people like that are necessarily self righteous

peep (4:33:28 AM): they are simply… caged

peep (4:33:37 AM): the self righteous are those that are caged

peep (4:33:46 AM): but squack loudly

peep (4:33:49 AM): *squawk

me (4:34:29 AM): caged… yes, so you see that, and distress over it

me (4:34:34 AM): it’s a foresight

me (4:34:41 AM): do not degrade it

peep (4:34:46 AM): I don’t

peep (4:34:52 AM): I feel an urgent fervor

peep (4:34:55 AM): to reach out to them

peep (4:35:02 AM): to bring them into the infinite fields

peep (4:35:13 AM): to smell the roses of love, laughter, contentment

peep (4:35:24 AM): and to drink from the river of enlightenment and self-awareness

me (4:35:46 AM): some people hold on to their boxes

me (4:35:52 AM): the light blinds them

me (4:36:02 AM): and they reside therein

peep (4:36:11 AM): it is my weakness that I have trouble leaving them be

me (4:36:18 AM): limiting there own potential

me (4:36:25 AM): weakness

me (4:36:27 AM): nay

me (4:36:30 AM): strength

me (4:36:41 AM): most don’t care enough

me (4:36:47 AM): don’t feel enough

me (4:37:02 AM): do not hinder yourself because they do

me (4:37:14 AM): and that is their “norm”

me (4:37:28 AM): the norm of boxy people

me (4:37:42 AM): who don’t see the extent of the sky

peep (4:37:49 AM): but I want them to

me (4:37:49 AM): and horizon

peep (4:38:06 AM): I’m not so selfish that I want to sit on a secluded beach and watch the sun rise all by myself

peep (4:38:16 AM): I want the world to sit on one big towel

peep (4:38:19 AM): and get a sun tan

peep (4:38:21 AM): together

me (4:38:31 AM): and wear sun screen

peep (4:38:37 AM): (and we’ll remember to wear sunscreen)

peep (4:38:39 AM): haha

me (4:38:44 AM): haha

me (4:39:10 AM): I do not say be selfish, in fact fight

me (4:39:22 AM): but know you won’t always win

peep (4:39:26 AM): yes

me (4:39:30 AM): have heart

peep (4:39:33 AM): I guess I just need reassurance

peep (4:39:37 AM): that fighting is the right thing

me (4:39:38 AM): but use the brain as well

me (4:39:46 AM): indeed

peep (4:39:49 AM): and that I shouldn’t just resign myself to let them be

me (4:39:54 AM): it’s “coping”

peep (4:40:00 AM): aiywa

peep (4:40:01 AM): so

peep (4:40:03 AM): we become the cure

me (4:40:10 AM): inshAllah

peep (4:40:15 AM): we are the rope of Allah

me (4:40:18 AM): and our sincerity

me (4:40:20 AM): is the needle

me (4:40:47 AM): oye lets not get self-rightious now

peep (4:40:51 AM): hahaha