Born Confused

Bismillah … ISNA-ing
When I personally look at the issue of self betterment I see two aspects which are interwoven and interdependent on each other and one cannot be fulfilled without the other: one being the personal relationship with Allah and the relationship with my community and Ummah.
Ramadan is our chance to build community. To build bonds. We should take advantage of this time and try to connect to each person individually and build the bonds of love and friendship until we love each other for the sake of Allah (swt) inshAllah. That’s what leadership is. Loving and caring for each other is leadership.
Last year’s Ramadan, at school, I met a woman named Emily. The year before she had studied abroad in Senegal and to this day is overwhelmed and madly in love with the country and the people she met there. During Ramadan she was so excited and was almost moved to tears as she said, “I love fasting. It’s something that connects me with my family in Senegal. I know they are all fasting and we are all fasting at the same time.” This simple statement was so grounding and made me realize that perhaps I wasn’t really milking Ramadan for all it’s worth by simply focusing on myself.
You see, too often—myself included—people are obsess=ed with worship and their own relationship with Allah—it’s all about me me me– essentially we are being selfish and self-absorbed. As Muslims moderation is the key and the way of the Prophet peace be upon him. As human beings we’re naturally social beings. As Muslims we’re discouraged from being hermits. What we forget is that striving for self-improveme vnt is synonymous with striving for altruism. As Albert Einstein once said so eloquently, “One finally starts living when one is able to live for something other than himself.”
And as the our beloved Prophet peace be upon him said in a hadith narrated by Abu Hurarirah and collected by Saheeh Al-Bukhari and Saheeh Muslim: “There are seven whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: A Just Ruler, a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah, the Mighty and majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques, two men who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; a man who is called by a woman of beauty and position but says “I fear Allah”; a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity, and a man who remembered Allah in private and so his eyes shed tears.”
If we look at the seven people in Allah SWT’s shade it is obvious community and the way we deal with people is interconnected with the state of our Iman and relationship with Allah SWT. It’s not excuseively one or the other. If we reflect on this hadith today we see it reflects in strong contrast to the condition of our community. For example when we look at the characteristics of the person whose heart is attached to the mosque, most people focus on this is evidence as someone’s closeness to Allah—Forgetting that the masjid is the center of the Muslim community and community activates. and such an individual, since they love the masjid and being often near to it, thus forth prays in congregation and starts to love and have their heart connected to other Muslims who also love the masjid—and in this way they love and are connected to the community.
We need to reach for that state of Imam where we no longer have to conciosly have to remind ourselves of the reward of reading Qur’an but instead we feel incomplete without it and yearn to read it.
And one should not degrade the importance of the relationship to one’s community in comparsion to the personal relationship with Allah (swt) for one can beget another. Like my friend Emily, being with a Muslim family in a Muslim country spurred her love of Islam and Allah. When we go to our masjids, we should be aware of this. You never know how you will affect someone’s personal love of Islam and the love of Allah. How many times have we heard of stories of people, Muslim or not, coming to the masjid and being reprimanded “haram this haram that, your scarf or your shorts are haramoobobi” and after that encounter they never come back again?
Community, our Ummah does impact our iman, our faith and our relationship with Allah. How many times have we heard “Those who are grateful to people are grateful to Allah” and the famious hadith that the ummah is like a body, if one part is afflicted, we all suffer.
Today we often forget that the companions would weep when they were chosen for a position of leadership. Because they feared the added responsibility. Today we often forget that our duty as leaders is service to our community and not as a noche in our belt or one more line to add to our resume. We are here to prefect ourselves and learn the most precious lesson in life: selflessness. Let’s start this Ramadan being true leaders!
Ramadan, 30 days of togetherness—just enough time to build habits to strengthen your deen—and don’t forget!—strengthening the people around you too, with your kindness, mercy, love and gentleness. You’ll find it becomes second nature. Your heart will grow soft, understanding, wise and forgiving. “Understand all; forgive all,” says Buddah.
Do that and your relationship with Allah swt whose greatest name is Al-Rahman, The Mericiful, which is the only Name He chooses to use interchangeably will Allah, will flourish, inshAllah.
Jazakullahkhair