Born Confused

A speech I did at the Education Forum Chicago Alhumdullah

We see over and over again, Conferences, gets together, camps, organizations, Islamic schools trying to address the dilemma of the youth: Identity. This theme—this problem, is huge, expansive, the seed—that gives birth to unity and inshAllah countless good deeds and endeavors.

Identity is in itself means a coming across a sameness, a likeness even amongst varying conditions—a constant state. Therefore we can say the antithesis—the sickness of identity is not being constant, not having a constant state and therefore we must ask ourselves what is this desired state we should strive for?

The desired state is the Muslim state—the Muslim identity that permeates through out a persons character, interactions and varying conditions whilst in the west, an environment of constant upheavals. Being in a state of peace does not mean being in a peaceful state without turmoil. Peace means being in this state inspite of upheavals.

Ironically this peaceful state, this Muslim identity isn’t simply born out of peace but rather from hardship. Peace in itself is a strong trait, a strong characteristic and as Napoleon Hill, a famous American author said, “The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.”

In order to build this strong tree, the seed needs to be cultivated, nurtured and protected from the harsh weather in the darkness and over the protection of the soil. This seed is the Muslim youth in the west. And the soil, covering and protecting this seedling and readying it to become big and strong—giving the foundations and room to take root to steadfastness is the Islamic upbringing—the purpose of Islamic schools. These Islamic institutions give room for children to spread their roots in a comfortable way—showing them that they, yes, indeed can still be mainstream in a western society, comfortable, strong, and secure with the knowledge such intuitions instill in them.

Islamic schools build a Muslim identity. In a Islamic school, you, the teachers and administration are building the foundation of future Muslims, future families, future communities, future masjids, future of the faith and leaders inshAllah for the sake of Allah.

However, Islamic schools under go their own identity crisis as well. Most teachers come to Islamic schools under two different circumstances. One is the type of teacher is the career-driven teacher that often comes to the Islamic school seeking the initial experience that will allow them to get the better paying jobs in schools with good resources. Often times Islamic schools cannot compete with the facilities and resources over even public school systems and generally offer non-competitive salaries with no benefits. The other type of teacher is the one highly motivated teacher but who may lack certification and the proper background in education.

In addition to these differences, Islamic school teachers come in the enormous variations in their cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds.

As a result one may find very different standards from one Islamic school to other and even from classroom to classroom in one school. For example, the way the teacher carries themselves in the classroom, tone of voice they use the disciplinarian techniques is, at least, in part by the diverse backgrounds of the teachers. I suggest that Islamic schools develop uniform expectations, procedures and implementation plans so that students within each school will have a unified identity, and a cohesive and clear understanding of who and what they are and the ability to be Muslim to maintain a Muslim home and family and yet productive members of the greater community. Once our identity is settled in it takes root faster if our actions and intentions reaffirm. This is why extra curricular activities like MYNA are so important. Our identities expand outside the masjid and extended family and weave together with the fiber of the greater society we live in.

My heart is so small, it’s almost invisible. How can You place such big sorrows in it? “Look,” He answered, “your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world.”

“‘In the woods, we return to reason and faith,’ and become ‘part and parcel of God’”. –Emerson. Before MYNA camp I looked at this quote and knew it was the truth, theoretically. However; it was only after MYNA camp that the depth of this truth fully resounded through every bone in my body. After all, truth is realized not told.

The first Leadership Retreat hosted by MYNA National was teeming with a buzz of excitement and possibilities. And somehow, through the grace of the Almighty, this MYNA retreat was even better than the first.

This is coming from a person who before going to her first MYNA National Leadership Retreat thought MYNA was the younger wannabe MSA child. This is coming from an EC member who, despite loving the first retreat, forced herself to get on that plane going to the second retreat with a “bismillah” walking into camp arrogantly thinking ‘been there, done that; I just need to do my job’ and was, at first glance, disappointed by the facilities that seemed inferior to those of the first retreat’s campground and bracing herself for a week of no privacy and discomfort. Basically, I was being a spoiled, shallow and judgmental creature.

Then, slowly, the beauty of the Lake Huron crept into my heart. The sound of Huron, inhaling and exhaling on the sandy skin of the beach echoed and became distinct and alive. It was there, as we prayed in the grass, breathing in the odor of where we were from and soon go back to; it was there as we put out our fire on the beach and turned our heads upward to the sky breathless - almost expecting to fall into it–as a voice sang Surat Al Najam – it was there as the sun rose with petals of color and the heart had to grow expansive to contain the nooriful scene, it was there I saw Allah’s signs and became overwhelmed with them.

And with this as our backdrop the lightest feather-breath of a rain touched our faces as we whispered dthikr together and a rainbow appeared rewarding our hearts with a wondrous sight. Throughout the week I participated in workshops that made me laugh, then cry, I stayed awake all night with a friend and prayed tahajud while a rain storm wailed outside. I gained an appreciation and respect for nature and learned to live with the spider that lived above my bunk. It was there first. I pray the lessons I learned and helped to teach others through my participation will never leave me. The activist, humanitarian and Muslim in my heart grew that week. And, most importantly, I was able to share it with others.
And I want it for you dear reader. I want your Iman to soar, your mind to leap forward and be empowered with the knowledge that people may call us the leaders of tomorrow but I say NO–You are the leaders of today. Shake off that doubt, sense of unworthiness, timidity and fear. Step forward. Your the best we have and it’s upon you the opportunities you wasted or the vast and great potential you fulfilled– certainly a beauty to behold.

Sincerely,
a deeply honored Executive Committee Member
PR
MYNA National
Ilana Alazzeh

I_like_MSA: astaghfirullah, stop being online
its haram
me: haha
salaam alykum mullah saab
I_like_MSA: valaykum salaam
sub teek tak?
me: how is the rice in your beard today?
yellow yet?
I_like_MSA: bus, allah tallah ne humko bahot he diya
me: oye I thought for a sec you went on a lotta break saab
I_like_MSA: hahaha
i once went to a MYNA camp
and, there was no lota
so we went and bought one
and carried it in on our shoulders
for like…15 guys
there was 1 lota
just thought i should paint that picture for you
me: O_O
I like art
LOLz
I_like_MSA: no need to thank me
me: mashAllah
I_like_MSA: when we were done, we’d just slide it under the stall walls, over to whoever else needed to use it
me: HAHA “muhammad did you bring your mom’s wipes?”
“ya Ahmed–you brought it eh?”
no wonder you tell me to grow up from MYNA to MSA–they probably have bigger lottas
I_like_MSA: much bigger
and cuz MSA is tight
and MYNA is….ok
me: so what if I went to VCU just to bother you?
I_like_MSA: don’t come to VCU, its a crappy school
what school do u go to?
me: Smith College
I_like_MSA: hm, sounds bourgeois
me: haha it is
but upscale rich hippys who don’t care much for men and focus on school work with an intensity unknown to mankind
ya3ni the ones that go to Africa and China and look good without makeup
I_like_MSA: oh
thats cool?
i don’t really wear makeup
me: oh that explains it ;)
I_like_MSA: hahaha
yes,
its all natural
i’m blessed
me: mashAllah–I have no fortune my hair never grew so to cover my bald spot I wore hijab
I_like_MSA: lol
me: why are you laughing
I am serious
I_like_MSA: well, i s’pose that makes haircuts easier
actually
if ur bald
do u even need to wear a hijab?!
me: umm I shall analyze the niqabis uncovered faces more closely and let you know

Dear Brother Iyad:

Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu.

Jazak Allah Khair for your support of Ilana and following through on re-sending the recommendation letter. I know you are so busy. When we choose positions to serve our community, we have chosen a path that takes our full attention, time and efforts. May Allah grant you the strength and energy to fulfill all that you hope to accomplish.

And, of course, being a mother, I can never help but to give advice. Now, Ilana forwarded me the e-mail you sent out about the training weekend. I see that you expect Ilana to prepare food for others and, which is far more dangerous, you even ask for recipes. Take my advice, and restrict her to serving and clean up. having been the victim of her scrambled eggs cooked in both butter and oil, and the tortured soul of her icee drink that included a full box of strawberries, 2 bananas, and a half jar of peanut butter, I pass onto to you the wisdom of my worn spirit.

But, knowing the adventurous and fool hearty spirit of youth, you will probably allow her to be head chef, just so you can have a truly unique experience.

A loving mother,
Umm Ilana