Born Confused

Bismillah … ISNA-ing
When I personally look at the issue of self betterment I see two aspects which are interwoven and interdependent on each other and one cannot be fulfilled without the other: one being the personal relationship with Allah and the relationship with my community and Ummah.
Ramadan is our chance to build community. To build bonds. We should take advantage of this time and try to connect to each person individually and build the bonds of love and friendship until we love each other for the sake of Allah (swt) inshAllah. That’s what leadership is. Loving and caring for each other is leadership.
Last year’s Ramadan, at school, I met a woman named Emily. The year before she had studied abroad in Senegal and to this day is overwhelmed and madly in love with the country and the people she met there. During Ramadan she was so excited and was almost moved to tears as she said, “I love fasting. It’s something that connects me with my family in Senegal. I know they are all fasting and we are all fasting at the same time.” This simple statement was so grounding and made me realize that perhaps I wasn’t really milking Ramadan for all it’s worth by simply focusing on myself.
You see, too often—myself included—people are obsess=ed with worship and their own relationship with Allah—it’s all about me me me– essentially we are being selfish and self-absorbed. As Muslims moderation is the key and the way of the Prophet peace be upon him. As human beings we’re naturally social beings. As Muslims we’re discouraged from being hermits. What we forget is that striving for self-improveme vnt is synonymous with striving for altruism. As Albert Einstein once said so eloquently, “One finally starts living when one is able to live for something other than himself.”
And as the our beloved Prophet peace be upon him said in a hadith narrated by Abu Hurarirah and collected by Saheeh Al-Bukhari and Saheeh Muslim: “There are seven whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: A Just Ruler, a youth who grew up in the worship of Allah, the Mighty and majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques, two men who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; a man who is called by a woman of beauty and position but says “I fear Allah”; a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity, and a man who remembered Allah in private and so his eyes shed tears.”
If we look at the seven people in Allah SWT’s shade it is obvious community and the way we deal with people is interconnected with the state of our Iman and relationship with Allah SWT. It’s not excuseively one or the other. If we reflect on this hadith today we see it reflects in strong contrast to the condition of our community. For example when we look at the characteristics of the person whose heart is attached to the mosque, most people focus on this is evidence as someone’s closeness to Allah—Forgetting that the masjid is the center of the Muslim community and community activates. and such an individual, since they love the masjid and being often near to it, thus forth prays in congregation and starts to love and have their heart connected to other Muslims who also love the masjid—and in this way they love and are connected to the community.
We need to reach for that state of Imam where we no longer have to conciosly have to remind ourselves of the reward of reading Qur’an but instead we feel incomplete without it and yearn to read it.
And one should not degrade the importance of the relationship to one’s community in comparsion to the personal relationship with Allah (swt) for one can beget another. Like my friend Emily, being with a Muslim family in a Muslim country spurred her love of Islam and Allah. When we go to our masjids, we should be aware of this. You never know how you will affect someone’s personal love of Islam and the love of Allah. How many times have we heard of stories of people, Muslim or not, coming to the masjid and being reprimanded “haram this haram that, your scarf or your shorts are haramoobobi” and after that encounter they never come back again?
Community, our Ummah does impact our iman, our faith and our relationship with Allah. How many times have we heard “Those who are grateful to people are grateful to Allah” and the famious hadith that the ummah is like a body, if one part is afflicted, we all suffer.
Today we often forget that the companions would weep when they were chosen for a position of leadership. Because they feared the added responsibility. Today we often forget that our duty as leaders is service to our community and not as a noche in our belt or one more line to add to our resume. We are here to prefect ourselves and learn the most precious lesson in life: selflessness. Let’s start this Ramadan being true leaders!
Ramadan, 30 days of togetherness—just enough time to build habits to strengthen your deen—and don’t forget!—strengthening the people around you too, with your kindness, mercy, love and gentleness. You’ll find it becomes second nature. Your heart will grow soft, understanding, wise and forgiving. “Understand all; forgive all,” says Buddah.
Do that and your relationship with Allah swt whose greatest name is Al-Rahman, The Mericiful, which is the only Name He chooses to use interchangeably will Allah, will flourish, inshAllah.
Jazakullahkhair

oh ISNA

Bismillah
“In A Light of a New Moon” is the MYNA theme of this weekend consistant with the overall theme of change underlying this gathering. Change, like a cold sweet river keeps the water from becoming stag-nAt and foul. It allows us to be transparent, and clear. Change like the river allows us to discover new heights and lands. Change allows us to grow and like the river to it’s companion plants, it allows us to nurture others so they may grow too.
We’re born in a world of movement and change and I don’t mean that we have TV or cell phones. I say that because as soon as we are born, we are in a world of motion, of movement. The globe revolves faster than any plane or jet but we are simply unaware.
That’s the thing to change, in order to that you must acknowledge the need to modify—or you must simply acknowledge the change first in order to transform.
That’s what happened to MYNA, born out of the need of the changing face of the Muslim Youth in the west.
Change is such a befitting theme as we look on the renaissance of MYNA National. It was almost two years ago when the board of MYNA National was appointed right after ISNA strived to create a youth development program while they appointed good friend and advisor to MYNA, brother Iyad our fearless leader, Youth director of MYNA.
I am one of the newest EC members coming on at the beginning of this year. I have been given the tremendous task with representing the Executive Committee of MYNA. I feel very humble and privileged from the depth of my sincerity.

Alhumdullah, through Allah’s grace MYNA to me has nurtured my soul and widened my scope and depth; though it may be expressed in different ways, though it may take subtle signs to be reflected afterward—this is most certainly a sentiment mutual amongst the EC. MYNA is a labor of love, of expression and a facilitator of opportunities and growth for anyone that has been involved with it. However, don’t allow me to paint a romantic or melodramatic picture of the EC. We are all your peers, do homework, struggle with parents, image and identity. The only reason we were apart of MYNA in the first place is because we believe in it or we would never have the passion to get us through our weekly 3-hour conference calls.
You would have thought we had extricated poverty already with how long our meetings get. And certainly sometimes I take a step back and think to myself, why have I been in a two hour debate about things I think are very obvious? I remember at the EC retreat at ISNA headquarters which consisted of meeting after meeting deliberating every single step; considering the future and pseudo metaphysical manifestations to the identity of MYNA, I would feel intense unrest until I had to go out to the hallway and vent my energy.
And then there are certainly many, many, many times where I am struggling with my patience and then someone brings a such a new perceptive to be brought under consideration and it humbles me. It truly humbles me. In Shaykh Hamza Yusuf’s slim volume, in which he translates short but profound statements of the Prophet (s). I quote from my own faulted memory the very first quote in the book: “Haste is from the devil and consideration is from Allah.” This is the unofficial theme of the EC, as we self-critic and even frankly critic each other and the EC as a whole. We struggle. And I have learned what may seem as an apathetic silence is actually time and consideration for intense reflective of concern.
Your current EC is of various and very different personalities, backgrounds and considerations. I personally have had to strive to understand each and everyone of them personally; whether it’s Zaki’s idealism, Shad’s thoughtful silences, Omar’s declarations, Amal’s sweetness or Sarah’s quiet passion.
Love. That’s what motivates us. And as we struggle through our dark moments in our relationship with MYNA—tenderly trying to keep the balance between a movement and an organization we see it’s identity constantly changing unable to confide itself any one box.
It’s time for a New Light, a New Moon. And with this in mind I feel honored to announce the fruit of the love of change, reflection and concern—of checks and balances—that this December MYNA National will be holding elections for the EC from amogst regional reps and subcommittee members.
We are also putting the gears in motion to have regional reps elected as well, to increase the transparentsy of MYNA National and to be inclusive of everyone.
And how you can involved and be apart of this movement is by contacting your regional reps and being involved with your local camps and activites. And also don’t forget to attend the MYNA National Leadership Camp in Texas this Winter Break—You can find out more details in our new magazine The New Dawn.
And please remember MYNA is not for one particular type of youth. MYNA is not for youth with parents of a particular income. MYNA is not for one type of Muslim.
MYNA is for you!!!

A speech I did at the Education Forum Chicago Alhumdullah

We see over and over again, Conferences, gets together, camps, organizations, Islamic schools trying to address the dilemma of the youth: Identity. This theme—this problem, is huge, expansive, the seed—that gives birth to unity and inshAllah countless good deeds and endeavors.

Identity is in itself means a coming across a sameness, a likeness even amongst varying conditions—a constant state. Therefore we can say the antithesis—the sickness of identity is not being constant, not having a constant state and therefore we must ask ourselves what is this desired state we should strive for?

The desired state is the Muslim state—the Muslim identity that permeates through out a persons character, interactions and varying conditions whilst in the west, an environment of constant upheavals. Being in a state of peace does not mean being in a peaceful state without turmoil. Peace means being in this state inspite of upheavals.

Ironically this peaceful state, this Muslim identity isn’t simply born out of peace but rather from hardship. Peace in itself is a strong trait, a strong characteristic and as Napoleon Hill, a famous American author said, “The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.”

In order to build this strong tree, the seed needs to be cultivated, nurtured and protected from the harsh weather in the darkness and over the protection of the soil. This seed is the Muslim youth in the west. And the soil, covering and protecting this seedling and readying it to become big and strong—giving the foundations and room to take root to steadfastness is the Islamic upbringing—the purpose of Islamic schools. These Islamic institutions give room for children to spread their roots in a comfortable way—showing them that they, yes, indeed can still be mainstream in a western society, comfortable, strong, and secure with the knowledge such intuitions instill in them.

Islamic schools build a Muslim identity. In a Islamic school, you, the teachers and administration are building the foundation of future Muslims, future families, future communities, future masjids, future of the faith and leaders inshAllah for the sake of Allah.

However, Islamic schools under go their own identity crisis as well. Most teachers come to Islamic schools under two different circumstances. One is the type of teacher is the career-driven teacher that often comes to the Islamic school seeking the initial experience that will allow them to get the better paying jobs in schools with good resources. Often times Islamic schools cannot compete with the facilities and resources over even public school systems and generally offer non-competitive salaries with no benefits. The other type of teacher is the one highly motivated teacher but who may lack certification and the proper background in education.

In addition to these differences, Islamic school teachers come in the enormous variations in their cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds.

As a result one may find very different standards from one Islamic school to other and even from classroom to classroom in one school. For example, the way the teacher carries themselves in the classroom, tone of voice they use the disciplinarian techniques is, at least, in part by the diverse backgrounds of the teachers. I suggest that Islamic schools develop uniform expectations, procedures and implementation plans so that students within each school will have a unified identity, and a cohesive and clear understanding of who and what they are and the ability to be Muslim to maintain a Muslim home and family and yet productive members of the greater community. Once our identity is settled in it takes root faster if our actions and intentions reaffirm. This is why extra curricular activities like MYNA are so important. Our identities expand outside the masjid and extended family and weave together with the fiber of the greater society we live in.

My heart is so small, it’s almost invisible. How can You place such big sorrows in it? “Look,” He answered, “your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world.”

“‘In the woods, we return to reason and faith,’ and become ‘part and parcel of God’”. –Emerson. Before MYNA camp I looked at this quote and knew it was the truth, theoretically. However; it was only after MYNA camp that the depth of this truth fully resounded through every bone in my body. After all, truth is realized not told.

The first Leadership Retreat hosted by MYNA National was teeming with a buzz of excitement and possibilities. And somehow, through the grace of the Almighty, this MYNA retreat was even better than the first.

This is coming from a person who before going to her first MYNA National Leadership Retreat thought MYNA was the younger wannabe MSA child. This is coming from an EC member who, despite loving the first retreat, forced herself to get on that plane going to the second retreat with a “bismillah” walking into camp arrogantly thinking ‘been there, done that; I just need to do my job’ and was, at first glance, disappointed by the facilities that seemed inferior to those of the first retreat’s campground and bracing herself for a week of no privacy and discomfort. Basically, I was being a spoiled, shallow and judgmental creature.

Then, slowly, the beauty of the Lake Huron crept into my heart. The sound of Huron, inhaling and exhaling on the sandy skin of the beach echoed and became distinct and alive. It was there, as we prayed in the grass, breathing in the odor of where we were from and soon go back to; it was there as we put out our fire on the beach and turned our heads upward to the sky breathless – almost expecting to fall into it–as a voice sang Surat Al Najam – it was there as the sun rose with petals of color and the heart had to grow expansive to contain the nooriful scene, it was there I saw Allah’s signs and became overwhelmed with them.

And with this as our backdrop the lightest feather-breath of a rain touched our faces as we whispered dthikr together and a rainbow appeared rewarding our hearts with a wondrous sight. Throughout the week I participated in workshops that made me laugh, then cry, I stayed awake all night with a friend and prayed tahajud while a rain storm wailed outside. I gained an appreciation and respect for nature and learned to live with the spider that lived above my bunk. It was there first. I pray the lessons I learned and helped to teach others through my participation will never leave me. The activist, humanitarian and Muslim in my heart grew that week. And, most importantly, I was able to share it with others.
And I want it for you dear reader. I want your Iman to soar, your mind to leap forward and be empowered with the knowledge that people may call us the leaders of tomorrow but I say NO–You are the leaders of today. Shake off that doubt, sense of unworthiness, timidity and fear. Step forward. Your the best we have and it’s upon you the opportunities you wasted or the vast and great potential you fulfilled– certainly a beauty to behold.

Sincerely,
a deeply honored Executive Committee Member
PR
MYNA National
Ilana Alazzeh

I_like_MSA: astaghfirullah, stop being online
its haram
me: haha
salaam alykum mullah saab
I_like_MSA: valaykum salaam
sub teek tak?
me: how is the rice in your beard today?
yellow yet?
I_like_MSA: bus, allah tallah ne humko bahot he diya
me: oye I thought for a sec you went on a lotta break saab
I_like_MSA: hahaha
i once went to a MYNA camp
and, there was no lota
so we went and bought one
and carried it in on our shoulders
for like…15 guys
there was 1 lota
just thought i should paint that picture for you
me: O_O
I like art
LOLz
I_like_MSA: no need to thank me
me: mashAllah
I_like_MSA: when we were done, we’d just slide it under the stall walls, over to whoever else needed to use it
me: HAHA “muhammad did you bring your mom’s wipes?”
“ya Ahmed–you brought it eh?”
no wonder you tell me to grow up from MYNA to MSA–they probably have bigger lottas
I_like_MSA: much bigger
and cuz MSA is tight
and MYNA is….ok
me: so what if I went to VCU just to bother you?
I_like_MSA: don’t come to VCU, its a crappy school
what school do u go to?
me: Smith College
I_like_MSA: hm, sounds bourgeois
me: haha it is
but upscale rich hippys who don’t care much for men and focus on school work with an intensity unknown to mankind
ya3ni the ones that go to Africa and China and look good without makeup
I_like_MSA: oh
thats cool?
i don’t really wear makeup
me: oh that explains it
I_like_MSA: hahaha
yes,
its all natural
i’m blessed
me: mashAllah–I have no fortune my hair never grew so to cover my bald spot I wore hijab
I_like_MSA: lol
me: why are you laughing
I am serious
I_like_MSA: well, i s’pose that makes haircuts easier
actually
if ur bald
do u even need to wear a hijab?!
me: umm I shall analyze the niqabis uncovered faces more closely and let you know

Dear Brother Iyad:

Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu.

Jazak Allah Khair for your support of Ilana and following through on re-sending the recommendation letter. I know you are so busy. When we choose positions to serve our community, we have chosen a path that takes our full attention, time and efforts. May Allah grant you the strength and energy to fulfill all that you hope to accomplish.

And, of course, being a mother, I can never help but to give advice. Now, Ilana forwarded me the e-mail you sent out about the training weekend. I see that you expect Ilana to prepare food for others and, which is far more dangerous, you even ask for recipes. Take my advice, and restrict her to serving and clean up. having been the victim of her scrambled eggs cooked in both butter and oil, and the tortured soul of her icee drink that included a full box of strawberries, 2 bananas, and a half jar of peanut butter, I pass onto to you the wisdom of my worn spirit.

But, knowing the adventurous and fool hearty spirit of youth, you will probably allow her to be head chef, just so you can have a truly unique experience.

A loving mother,
Umm Ilana