Born Confused

friend (3:35:28 AM): haha, MSA eat out too much
me (3:35:37 AM): muslims=food
friend (3:35:42 AM): haha agreed
me (3:35:52 AM): what do the girls do?
friend (3:35:58 AM): breakfast
friend (3:36:00 AM): haha
me (3:36:10 AM): you guys do dinner
me (3:36:11 AM): wow
friend (3:36:14 AM): haha yeah
me (3:36:30 AM): i would never wake up for that
me (3:36:41 AM): I would go to lunch with the hijiras
friend (3:36:54 AM): haha

I_like_MSA: astaghfirullah, stop being online
its haram
me: haha
salaam alykum mullah saab
I_like_MSA: valaykum salaam
sub teek tak?
me: how is the rice in your beard today?
yellow yet?
I_like_MSA: bus, allah tallah ne humko bahot he diya
me: oye I thought for a sec you went on a lotta break saab
I_like_MSA: hahaha
i once went to a MYNA camp
and, there was no lota
so we went and bought one
and carried it in on our shoulders
for like…15 guys
there was 1 lota
just thought i should paint that picture for you
me: O_O
I like art
LOLz
I_like_MSA: no need to thank me
me: mashAllah
I_like_MSA: when we were done, we’d just slide it under the stall walls, over to whoever else needed to use it
me: HAHA “muhammad did you bring your mom’s wipes?”
“ya Ahmed–you brought it eh?”
no wonder you tell me to grow up from MYNA to MSA–they probably have bigger lottas
I_like_MSA: much bigger
and cuz MSA is tight
and MYNA is….ok
me: so what if I went to VCU just to bother you?
I_like_MSA: don’t come to VCU, its a crappy school
what school do u go to?
me: Smith College
I_like_MSA: hm, sounds bourgeois
me: haha it is
but upscale rich hippys who don’t care much for men and focus on school work with an intensity unknown to mankind
ya3ni the ones that go to Africa and China and look good without makeup
I_like_MSA: oh
thats cool?
i don’t really wear makeup
me: oh that explains it
I_like_MSA: hahaha
yes,
its all natural
i’m blessed
me: mashAllah–I have no fortune my hair never grew so to cover my bald spot I wore hijab
I_like_MSA: lol
me: why are you laughing
I am serious
I_like_MSA: well, i s’pose that makes haircuts easier
actually
if ur bald
do u even need to wear a hijab?!
me: umm I shall analyze the niqabis uncovered faces more closely and let you know