Archive for the 'express sore more' Category

Aug 20 2008

Desert Rose


A friend shared a story…

“Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn’t hear the band - he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.”

Me: that. made. me. cry.

“People start their lives at last when they are able to live for something other than themselves.”–Albert Einstein.

Jazakullahkhair.

Painter: Oh come on Ilana, isn’t that a bit melodramatic? Do you also start weeping at witnessing the humanitarian edge of capitalism when they bring down the prices of flower pots to 50%?

Me: Haha, oh come on Painter, isn’t that a bit of an over simplification and lack of appreciation of the human spirit and it’s capacity for self sacrifice and good? Or are you too pessimistic and self-absorbed?

Painter: It is the nature of things that those at one extreme become that which is at the other extreme…but yeah, you do cry at flower shops don’t you :)

Me: Realization of the above mentioned fact is what should motivate us to be humble and help grasp the significance and true depth of the beauty of good. It is the freedom of will that makes morality and virtue possible.

Painter:
Indeed. Very well said.

Me: And I cry for flowers not pots. ;)

One response so far

Jun 14 2008

Betrayal’s Trap Door

There I stood before a trap door
Goodwill’s flame aglow
Trusting, strong and unaware you were keeping score
Then someone anew made me aware
Of the darkening mist and betrayal’s twist
Grey encompassed my vision
And a weightless accompanied my fall
Someone I held close—I thought we saw eye to eye
Questioned me the most
And right after I tried to be a gracious host
He pushed me forward and down the pit of insecurities
I fell down the trap, sad, anger
A moment of feeling all too real
Confusion overtook me
How dare he!
Planning to distance myself
He lost a friendship with me!
Distain and lack of humor I will show
He pushed me here
Let him feel my lack of glow which he mocked
I walk on my own two feet
Let him desire my smile and friendship—a treat!
So now I look up the trap door
Blinking back tears and reflect a bit more
Realizing it’s all a reaction of a heart deeply sore
And what I truly want to do is cry
Not even concerned with “why”
Control—I must quell my heart
Praying to Allah is my start and drive
As I climb up the cave remembering to be thankful of the blessing of being alive
Another stone, a hurled to help me up
Following Sunnah
So I empower and actualize it within myself
Give true vengeance: to be guarded and kindest to enemies
Thus giving the world remedies’
Heart expands, hurt now turned into flame aglow
I climbed out the trap
And Alhumdullah came up with this rap

2 responses so far

May 29 2008

Random thoughts

Where is home–who’s native land? Try to recuperate and hold up to catharsis stand. Iconoclast’s man I have become, bridging two places within one.

talking about someone’s spoken word

Qari: whoa. You really thought I did good? I thought I did a whole bunch of mistakes… I am my own worst critic.

Me: I find that in front of others we are the most critical and when we are with our ownselves we are the least critical.

Qari: very true

No responses yet

Apr 28 2008

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“Tears for what I never knew
Of love and how it’s won”
This struck as truth as darkly as the sun, in your song of torment and angst and feelings robust—when we think we are old we are simply young; feeling worn and overcome. It is because we feel so strongly, so forward and then undone—when we feel patience’s lesson we’re stung. So now our laughter is loud, our tears bittersweet proud. Savor deeply this period of pain, God’s magic, inspiration and rain.

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I cluck my teeth, my cheeks swell, muscles tense, as this Spanish guitar brings tears from a deep well. Exquisite, stunning and angst comes in a form of a sensual dance as rain pours outside, vivid green strucks the eyes as damp thin clothes—cold, demise—stick to skin reminding of a fragile existence and a shivering state. Dark wet curls. The weightlessness of goosebumps. Venerable and still and yet howl and singing mix like a beautiful hell. Exotic strange and yet Allah gave this capacity—this width of feeling breathe of stir—too much feeling now I fall asleep on floor.

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Apr 23 2008

Dear Sister

Your body’s been abused– raped, your deen and heart confused. My dear sister, Allah is with you all the way. My love, for you dear sister, increases day by day. I feel the sorrow and dispear but I know the darkness makes the light so white. A weird calmness takes over,for overwhelmed with thoughts, emotions and forced to go through the motions. The Qur’an a light we share to comfort and ease the soul of a hurtful blight. We listen together, sister and sister, separated by distance but united fisabilah. And listen to Surah Rahman, reciting in a voice that sooths, comforts, and eases like warm slippery waves and breezes; it’s brings out humanity and despite the evil, I feel this kinship, this care, a beauty of sisterhood in the midst of a scare as our love and emotion brings out sanity of dear old flawed, beautiful humanity.
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