Born Confused

I am reminded day after day why I hate TV so much.

I am at the place of my childhood, of my birth… and yet I feel so uneasy. Towns are wide spread… and I guess I would find it relaxing but let me tell you this.

At least now I know positively my priority isn’t money in life. I am so extremely unhappy with not being free… and when I am unhappy I close up and I stay very quiet.

I also have found out I will never be the proper Arab (or desi for that matter) lady - like woman. I can fake it for a couple of hours and then freak with energy; jumping up and down screaming “sugar!” and dancing on the roof [until I realized there was a family on the neighboring roof].

I have also realized the rich [money-wise] people are not necessarily interesting or smart.

I hate TV.

Been busy with Unity Productions Foundation, MYNA at ISNA and salvaging what left of my pride.

If only siblings watched something interesting like LinkTV, FreeSpeech TV or even UCTV. I feel my IQ has been fried. It’s always on, behind me as I work on the computer–Bismillah.

Something I wanted to share from Sheikh Wikipedia : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_and_children

There’s something about San Francisco… a certain sadness in the area. Of love lost and angst, betrayal and a beautiful pain unspoken in the breathy cool wind. Sometimes you don’t notice it right away. It’s only afterward, when you reflect, you realize that aura was there… so subtle you realize how deep it is and it makes you blink at the ceiling as your chest swells beats to the slight flaring of nostrils.

When the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) saw something good and pleasing, he would say: “Praise be to God with whose blessings all good deeds are perfected.” And when he saw something displeasing, he would say: “Praise and thanks be to God in all circumstances.”

Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 4, Number 125A

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