Born Confused

so confused, frustrated, used. just when i think i have got it down. a thought makes me frown and turn around, retracing my steps no less no more; i wonder whats the score. my head thumps my heart a huge mass of feeling, i step back the confusion reeling–stealing my soul my confidence my strength. a constant fight. as i take in perspective and of other judgments and beliefs i seek, it puts my life in their perceptive; and this insight is not because i am weak. i am so confused, but i know i wont lose. perhaps this feeling is like a sad intoxication, an absorbed sensation. first a weakness then turned into a beauty; hoping it won’t fall to usury in the ego which thus leds to abusery. i sign as i reevaluated myself; a fob uncle–too strict? or too laxed–and i need a mental whip? i wouldn’t mind a trip, now i totally understand it, but a vague grasp holds me too strong–is it the archaic right and wrong? but for now the gray wilderness, i confess, envelopes me. with it’s starry glitter night or is it light? or perhaps it’s a shuttering fuse, dizzying with complex beauty. happily giggling to confuse.
born confused.

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