Born Confused

In shock and disdain I tried to wash my face with a blessed rain, it’s kinda crazy because at the start we never were apart—now what the hell is this!?—the whole world knew? You after all these years became a monster and it’s something I can’t quite fathom but I know it’s true. Does my family I wonder know all about you? Whatever it is I shall stay silent and your memory has faded away—why should I remind them and with a great sting—it may stay. Shocked I was, befouled you have done, speechless I have become—people ask “Wassup? Something wrong?” I smile, bewildered, I am fine—what a lie! So many secrets in my chest—waiting for them to die! can’t really cry but just awkwardly laugh and exclaim “Ya Allah! Life’s twists and turns inshAllah may heaven be my claim!”

Trying to get someont to post here

ballinb:lol .. thanks for the link . i hardly get a chance to post on Islamica generally so i dont know if i should post randomness
kind of randomness do u mean?
lol
me:ANYTHING and EVERYTHING
ballinb:but i wouldnt want the world to be able to read anything and everything
i mean anything and everything that comes to my head
me:whatever you feel comfortable yaar
ballinb:hmm anyway have to go take care
me:did you post? :(
ballinb:well .. . i dont feel comfortable posting randomness ..sorry : )
me:not even Qur’an haramoobobi
ballinb:well there is a Quranic Verse thread
me:you can post ANYTHING to your heart’s content mr. uptight one. BE FREEEEEEEEEEEE
ballinb:but then the Verse might get lost in the randomness
me:(and halal)
ballinb:hmm….
me:ok your achward
ballinb:lol ok.. sorry but im not used to posting freely
me:are you use to living freely? thinking freely? feeling freely? expressing yourself freely? (and whilst in a halal manner)
ballinb:oh of course. we have to think freely as muslims but posting randomness, sometimes perhaps ‘nonsense’ in a thread is not necessarily representative of ‘free thought’. im sorry if I sound too uptight or ’strict’ .. but thats just how i feel .. I think there should be a point to everthing.. well atleast not ‘pointless’sorry ..anyway gota go
me:He who does not look upon things with the eye of insight is lost and to be blamed. it’s not nonsense. it seems so to the viewer who does not know the mind of the artist…don’t be so quick to judge
ballinb:well i wasnt referring to particular posts
i mean the thread as a whole..might end up with people posting ‘anything’ like u say, and ‘anything’ might include nonsense although it’s your thread u might not be able to control some of the nonsense others post in it
me:control?
ballinb:lol not control but ppl might post nonsense and u dont want that do u :S
me:“To deny the freedom of the will is to make morality impossible.”–James A. Froude.
ballinb:whatt if ppl r posting good things then that’s great
me:think upon it deeply what is good for you might not be good for others nor will anyone really be on your level of eman
ballinb:hmm…
me:it might be above or below but do not expect the same everyone has thier journey “We believe nothing so frimly as what we least know.”–Michel de Montaigne.
ballinb:that’s true.. but the point is that there is a fine line between ‘just a random post’ and a post which makes no sense in any way and is just wasting forum bandwidth and letting ppl post just ‘random’ stuff about anything just makes it easier to cross that fine line
me:maybe it’s sharing love/happiness who are we to judge?
ballinb:eg. posting random underpants is sharing peace love? Lol i mean there should be a point to something..
me:it’s sharing happiness. I was looking for power rangers that reminder me of defenders remember a smile is charity maybe I made someone smile? Laugh? giggle? inshAllah fillsabillullah maybe they had a hard day
ballinb:ok if that is your intention..
me:Emily Dickinson: If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
ballinb:in that case it would have a point.
me:yaar, all madness has a point
ballinb:but it wasnt made clear that way.
me:all pain has a point. everything has a point
ballinb:not necessarily
me:just becuase we don’t see it at first sight doesn’t mean it isn’t there. don’t be so secure in your preceptions of the world and your judgements of purposeful and pragmanic things. there is a virtue to art. to beauty. to humor
ballinb:so the point of the thread is to post random things which have a point, is that right?
me:everyone has a point …randomness is when the outside world doesn’t really understand the point
ballinb:ok…
me:the point you have in your mind and heart. everything is related to us, and basically our expierences, even our thoguht processes do you not agree?
ballinb:well maybe u should make your intentions clear in the opening post of the thread
me:that would be defeating the purpose of undiscovered beauty. of beauty not understood and there is beauty in lets beauty be not distilling it like a an eye or frog seeing out functions and what not
ballinb:ok…well i dont disagree with that, but i dont think everyone has the same approach to ‘randomness’ .. some ppl might have a distasteful intent and post something inappropriate, for example.
me:since you took it from such a serious and pragmatic stand point. i thought to explain it in a more metaphicsal sense…that is their choice and taste…remember: “To deny the freedom of the will is to make morality impossible.”–James A. Froude
ballinb:but what happens if taste goes against ethical / moral / Qur’anic values?
me:and there will always be darkness “There is no light for those who do not know darkness.” - Takuan Souhou. Evil makes good so much more valuable, that’s why we make mistakes and repent2/14/200810:55:01
ballinb:not willingly though2/14/200810:55:01
me:and Allah SWT loves us so for it…and if we didn’t sin Allah SWT would replace us
ballinb:we have to not be passive with such an attitude. i mean towards evil ..
me:In an Islamic governement things are evil
ballinb:yes evil will exist, but we pray that our committing / exposure to evil is minimized
me:and the world is full of self-rightiousness
ballinb:true. ..
me:probably one of the hugest evils out there
ballinb:but. ..evil remains just that, evil. erm..
me:that’s the purpose of this world. it’s a test. it’s not going to be easy. sabr is one of the greatest goods
ballinb:but we can’t give in and say we’re human so we’re going to sin.. lets do it anyway
me:and Allah knows best how much we can take
of course not we try but in the end we will enter heaven only with His mercy. be hard on yourself. not others
ballinb:a sin if repented for must be avoided after repentence. now ur confussing me
me:why?
ballinb:oh nothing. i get it.
me:oh Alhumdullah. look we constantly fall into sin the difference is whether we’ll repent. there’s a story. that there was a boy or man who partied and was free with women more or less. they went to the Prophet (s) and the Prophet asked “does he pray?” they reponded “yes” and the Porphet (s) (parphased–all of this in fact) “then leave him be, his prayer will make his bad deens undiseirable” and inshAllah he’ll drop them becuase of his connection with Allah (swt)
ballinb:we could still advise such a person that what they are doing is not right
me:of course
i agree but we do it in kindness. I feel it is better to befriend a friend for 7 years so that they know you love and care for them and then tell them to pray then to befriend them for 7 secs just meet them and asked them to pray the latter makes them defensful and does more damamge. thus we need sabr and love
ballinb:also they shouldnt be hypocritical, ie. they should be praying themselves before telling others. ur right. we have to advise with wisdom and kindness.. .there is a Verse in the Qur’an which says that too
me:yes inshAllah
may Allah give us the strenght to do so
ballinb:amen : ) ok should go now.. t/care. thanks for ur time
me:sorry I know I rant. wallah you too. Jazakullahkhair for listening and the consideration.

in response to the earlier post on happiness…

streetfighter:
its strange that someone with very little can be happier than someone who has achieved all of his material desires
streetfighter:
so is the source of happiness the actual material possessions, or is the source of happiness the fulfillment of ones desires then?
me
perhaps the lack of both
me
transcending above and beyond that
me
and truly looking to ultimately Allah
me
the Comforter
me
and knowing that this dunya
streetfighter:
what if ones desire is to please Allah (SWTL)
me
won’t give you the TRUE fulfillment
streetfighter:
and by pleasing Him, do we feel happy
me
there is no end to the race of quality and perfection
me
and in this case for Allah (SWT)
streetfighter:
yeah
me
Allah gives us noor
me
I believe
me
it lightens
streetfighter:
yeah that is true
me
our fitrah detects this
me
a pleasure, the fulfillment of good
streetfighter:
so there is a difference between pure and impure desires right
me
yes
me
i believe so
me
impure–increases your selfishness
me
and concentrates on yourself
me
unhealthily
me
EGO
me
err what say you?
me
LOOLLz
me
I get on rants
me
:S
me

streetfighter:
i think that, good actions can only come from proper faith
streetfighter:
since truly pure good comes from pure intentions
streetfighter:
and pure intentions are to do something to please Allah (SWTL)
streetfighter:
if an action was to be done for other than Allah (SWTL), then it would not be pure, and thus would not be good
streetfighter:
although the outwardness may appear to be good
streetfighter:
but all actions are judged by their intentions
streetfighter:
good intentions come from pure sincerity
me
and that sincerity isn’t easily acquired
me
it’s a jihad
me
that’s where you strive I suppose
streetfighter:
yeah exactly

me: and people wonder why happiness seems so elusive in life when we are afraid an hinder ourselves from trying new and different things
SHARK: happiness lies in that which brings joy
ps3
interesting books
money
cool gadgets
indoor swimming pools
me: true happiness?
SHARK: yes true happiness
me: those things just give you a fleeting thrill
SHARK: and of course defeat of all enemies
and victory is all conquests
*in
be they woeing a woman, succeeding in work
anything
me: true happiness isn’t something to be aimed for; it’s the result of living right
a sort of contentment
a peace
a happiness within oneself
SHARK: whatever works for you
me: and the ability to go beyond oneself
haha, indeed you said to obtain wealth was to obtain happiness
wealth
SHARK: yes
we are material
our experience is material
hence material should be our parameter (?) for success
*the material
me: experience isn’t wholely material
look at islam
prayer
hajj
a smile
the experience is tied in with religiocity
with something beyond ourselves
materialism on the other hand tends to make us focus more on ourselves
gives us a tiny thrill
that once leaves makes us wanting of more
may I continue?
or do you have something to say?
SHARK: no dont continue
wait
getting what you want
after making an effort
is a very satisfying feeling
which islam does not oppose
Oppose
me: ok
I get your point
but eik min
like for instance look at a baby, innocent, beautiful, naive–don’t you agree?
then look at old man
the purpose of this life is to become better yes?
SHARK: yes
the baby cant think for itself
me: so what makes the old man better then the beautiful pure baby?
experience
experience of what
to be cynical?
jaded?
tramamtized?
hurt?
Kill?
love?
what makes an ugly old toothless cynical mean man better then a innocent baby?
i say sacrifice
the old man has lived his life for his kids
mother/father sarcafice time, love, life
for another
a baby thinks not of that
SHARK: no
me: a baby cried for it needs
SHARK: not all men live good lives
only some do
im not like anyone else
or so i hope to believe
some men are content with averageness
thats their problem
they can be spiritual all they want
but the is
they’ll always just be an ‘is’
nothing more
*fact is
me: “People start their lives at last when they are able to live for something other than themselves.”–Albert Einstein.
the extraordinaory live for others
the ordinary
live for themselves
it’s easy
we have that inclination
to hoard
to want for ourselves the best
we are naturally *the crying baby*
SHARK: im not a baby
the same crying babies are the reason you have a cushy live
strong economies
and not living in some cave somewhere
as you grow
you’ll learn about counter culture and how non sensical it is
but for now idealism is probably good for you
me: I am not extraordinary–nor did mean to imply I was
theres nothing wrong with striving for idealism
SHARK:you are
me: striving for Islam
SHARK: you should start believing that
there is only one you
do whats best for you
nothing else
and thats not mutually exclusive with islam
me: perhaps the oxymoron is yaar, is that the extraodinary truely believe they are ordinary
(I don’t truely)
disclaimer^2
SHARK: i think
we should all wear a star
on our chests saying
i’m special
me: every single person is like a grain of sand–and within it an epic
SHARK: and everyone should get a crayon in whatever colour they choose
every one is like one single grain in a pixy stick
they dissolve in water and ruin its taste
do you get what i mean?
me: the nature of man to ruin what he has?
soul, earth etc?
SHARK: yes
spot on

I_like_MSA: astaghfirullah, stop being online
its haram
me: haha
salaam alykum mullah saab
I_like_MSA: valaykum salaam
sub teek tak?
me: how is the rice in your beard today?
yellow yet?
I_like_MSA: bus, allah tallah ne humko bahot he diya
me: oye I thought for a sec you went on a lotta break saab
I_like_MSA: hahaha
i once went to a MYNA camp
and, there was no lota
so we went and bought one
and carried it in on our shoulders
for like…15 guys
there was 1 lota
just thought i should paint that picture for you
me: O_O
I like art
LOLz
I_like_MSA: no need to thank me
me: mashAllah
I_like_MSA: when we were done, we’d just slide it under the stall walls, over to whoever else needed to use it
me: HAHA “muhammad did you bring your mom’s wipes?”
“ya Ahmed–you brought it eh?”
no wonder you tell me to grow up from MYNA to MSA–they probably have bigger lottas
I_like_MSA: much bigger
and cuz MSA is tight
and MYNA is….ok
me: so what if I went to VCU just to bother you?
I_like_MSA: don’t come to VCU, its a crappy school
what school do u go to?
me: Smith College
I_like_MSA: hm, sounds bourgeois
me: haha it is
but upscale rich hippys who don’t care much for men and focus on school work with an intensity unknown to mankind
ya3ni the ones that go to Africa and China and look good without makeup
I_like_MSA: oh
thats cool?
i don’t really wear makeup
me: oh that explains it ;)
I_like_MSA: hahaha
yes,
its all natural
i’m blessed
me: mashAllah–I have no fortune my hair never grew so to cover my bald spot I wore hijab
I_like_MSA: lol
me: why are you laughing
I am serious
I_like_MSA: well, i s’pose that makes haircuts easier
actually
if ur bald
do u even need to wear a hijab?!
me: umm I shall analyze the niqabis uncovered faces more closely and let you know